As promised.....

Remember how I said I was going to address something a couple of days ago?


Here goes:


Lots of people know that there are certain things they SHOULD BE doing for their GOOD health, 
or certain things they are doing that are NOT GOOD for their health.
Having said that.....like anything in life....some people are diligent and vigilant about doing things they should,
while others are not.  


If you're me (diabetic), and you don't do what  you should be doing....you become the recipient of short term and long term consequences.  Naturally occurring consequences.  Enough said.


Here is my beef.


Just because you get the consequences that come as a result of your unhealthy living, it hardly seems fair that others judge you or get mad at you for your unhealthy living...when they are doing (or not doing) the exact same things you are doing!  


Is the "sin" greater, simply because you were randomly afflicted with a disease? 


I guess life is not fair, to be sure.
Some people get cancer.  Some don't.
Some people get chronic illnesses. Others don't.
Some people can be fatter than me....and don't get diabetes.


It's just a stinkin' bummer to feel like I am living my life the same as 90% of the universe....but now I am looked at differently because I don't do what I need to do to live.


Even when I say it, it does seem so stupid that I don't devote my entire energy daily to just living.  Staying alive, I should say.


Because of course, I want to live.
Duh.


Just count your lucky stars that you get to live however you want to, eat whatever you want to, and no one will be discussing it the next moment.  Because no one will care.




Gosh. I sound grouchy.
I think I am.


Goodnite.

When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost....

Tonight I went to the Broadcast with specific prayers to hear something that would speak to my spirit and help me more gracefully reside in my current "situation".
The Lord never lets me down.

This week my Mom shared the words to "Count your many blessings" in an email to the family.
Tonight we sang it at the beginning of our meeting.

Here are just a few of the lines that spoke to me.

When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed (ya....like now)
When you are discouraged thinking all is lost (only everyday this week....)
Count your many blessings, name them one by one (that could take some serious time and energy!)
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done. (no surprise....just remind)

Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly (doubt?  Um....ya.)
And you will be singing as the days go by.  (This seems like a better alternative to what I have currently been doing as the days go by.....hmmmmmmmmmmmm)

So amid the conflict, whether great or small,

Do not be discouraged; God is over all.
Count your many blessings; angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

I guess that's why my friend who is in a battle with cancer for the second time named her blog "a journey with angels".  Help and comfort.  That sounds like a pretty good asset for a journey, doesn't it??

FAITH.

I have it.  I have a strong testimony.

Why am I so unimpressed with my level of faith when I am 

"amid the conflict, great or small"???

That takes me to the second hymn which spoke to me tonight at the broadcast.

More Holiness Give Me

More holiness give me,
More strivings within,
More patience in suff’ring,
More sorrow for sin,
More faith in my Savior,
More sense of his care,
More joy in his service,
More purpose in prayer.

2. More gratitude give me,
More trust in the Lord,
More pride in his glory,
More hope in his word,
More tears for his sorrows,
More pain at his grief,
More meekness in trial,
More praise for relief.

3. More purity give me,
More strength to o’ercome,
More freedom from earth-stains,
More longing for home.
More fit for the kingdom,
More used would I be,
More blessed and holy—
More, Savior, like thee.

I simply must try harder.  I simply must trust more...and work harder to depend on Him for strength.

After Justin and Jeremy returned home from their missions....I felt sad that I had not exercised more faith during the process.  I had instant regrets at the level of struggle I had experienced while they were gone.

I wished I could show the Lord my faith.

Here again I am presented with an opportunity to do just that.

Will I?

Can I?

Neu-rop-a-thy = P-A-I-N

As I begin to pen this post...I am already asking myself the obvious question.

Question:  Why?

Why write it down?

Answer: There is something cathartic about dumping from your brain and heart, 

some of your most tender feelings.

And....if you are reading this right now...

I must TRUST YOU with my most tender feelings.

{congratulations?}

Okay.  Onto the subject at hand:

n. 

neu·rop·a·thy

    [noo-rop-uh-thee

More specifically for me.....
diabetic peripheral neuropathy....

in my feet.

Can you say.... UGH!?!

Here is how the medical gurus describe it:

• Gradual onset of numbness and tingling in your feet or hands, which may spread upward into your legs and arms
• Burning pain
• Sharp, jabbing or electric-like pain
• Extreme sensitivity to touch, even light touch

I know...I know...you are thinking....

"well whose fault is THAT?"

Can I address that comment?  

{That you never made}

{That I assumed you would like to have made, given the chance}

Good.

Because I want to.  And I am going to.

Here we go again...................

Gosh.
I'm so tired.